Welcome!

Well, today for me is day 3 of my journey. Earlier this week, I was chosen to participate in a local radio stations "Biggest Loser Challenge". This could not have come at a better time for me, as I was already taking the steps to make a change in my life-for the better.

I have been a stay-at-home Mom for almost 12 years to my wonderful children, and don't get me wrong, I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. But somehow along the way, I lost who Jodi was and forgot to make her a priority in my life. With each child I gained a little bit more weight, and at some point it didn't seem to matter any more. So, basically I was saying I didn't matter.

Three years ago I began seeing a specialist for "Non-alcoholic fatty Liver Syndrome", which means I have fatty deposits on my liver so it is sick. Every 6 months I go and see him and he tells me to lose weight before it turns into sirossis. So, off I would go, armed with the knowledge that "today" would be the day that I made a change.......and dance lessons, soccer, dirty floors and laundry would get in the way. And I would let it, because it was my job to take care of my family! I constantly put myself at the bottom of the list-and I allowed everyone around me to do the same.

So, I continued in the same cycle, allowing myself to not be a priority in my own life. Then not too long ago, my Mom told me I had to take care of me-because if I didn't, I wouldn't be there to take care of 'them'. " It's time to put yourself first".

Now, I don't know what cosmic shift was occurring at that moment, but I got it. I "heard" her. I am the most important person in my life. I am worth it. Me-yes me!!! Years and years of anti-depressants and now that I am off of them, I have finally found ME!!!!

I can't tell you exactly when I had this conversation with my Mom, but within days she called me to tell me about the "Biggest Loser" on EZ Rock so I signed up, hit Facebook and my email and told everyone I knew to vote for me. And lo and behold, I got in!! I have a partner Kerrey, and we are both in the same place in our lives, and equally driven. Everything seems to be falling into place. I have even been seeing a dietitian for 6 weeks and successfully lost 6lbs in a month without the exercise, so I know I am on a roll.

Do I wish I had come to this realization 3 years ago that I have to be a priority in my own life? Maybe, but I truly believe that maybe this is the road I had to take. I could have lost weight 5 times over, but I would still have been the unhappy, lost woman inside-just not hiding behind "fat" pants.

I am so happy right now, and that is not something I have felt in my soul for so long. And I am discovering I missed me.  The woman my husband fell in love with and married-she still exists and she is worth fighting for.

Now, I have had moments where I stop and worry about my family. Will they survive? Of course they will! In fact I am sure we will be a stronger family, because how can any of them have any respect for me when I have not had any for myself? They will grow right along side me, because as I continue on this journey I will always walk beside them and support them, but I will no longer hide behind them. I will no longer do everything for them, they will start to do for themselves.

I am still a stay-at-home Mom. I still do dishes twice a day. I still make meals at least twice a day. I still do more laundry than should be allowed by law. But now, I don't face every day with dread :) I make time for me, to take care of Jodi and the things that keep her happy and healthy.

A few weeks ago, I went on a "Girls Weekend" with a group of some of the most amazing ladies I know. I gave myself permission to take that time for me. While shopping I found a beautiful eternity bracelet that I wear now, it just seemed to call to me....." The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

And baby, I am just getting started....

xoxoxo