So, Wednesday was the first weigh in, and I was 195lbs. Do you have any idea how painful that is to say out loud!!!??? Wow....
But I digress....that evening, we also did our first spin class. It wasn't so bad-especially when I discovered I had the tension almost on full...THAT was why I thought I was dying :) Once that was dealt with, I did quite well if I do say so myself, and so did my partner Kerrey. She admits that her legs are her weakest area, but she pushed through and I am so proud of her!!
Thursday, we went to United Cycle to be outfitted with our work-out gear, which consisted of sweat pants made for a giant ( not kidding-the waist band is above my chest!!!) and out Team colours. Kerrey and I are the Green team-Go Team Green!! And of course, we got brand new shoes-and though I wasn't sure at first, they are fabulous-I didn't feel my feet at all during our first foray into exercise classes....
...at 6am Friday morning. We completed the RUSH class at World Health Club-we thought it looked good...on paper! We walked in there and the couple of the other students were talking to us and told us it was the hardest class...eeeek!! Weights, and abs, and cardio and lunges, and lunges, and lunges......and left there feeling superb!! Invigorated!! Ready to take on the world...though admittedly, a little sick to my stomach-lol.
Later that day, I hopped on my bike with my youngest on the Tandem behind and off we went-again!!! And I still felt great....and then 9 pm hit, and slowly I could feel those muscles starting to ache. No big deal! I took a bath-a long hot one :) And I slept like a log...
After hockey this morning I met Kerrey at the off leash area and we went for a walk, just to keep ourselves moving so we didn't get too sore.
Now, it hurts to sit, it hurts to cough, it hurts to stand and I think I could sleep standing up-but I haven't felt this good in years! My back doesn't hurt. My hip doesn't hurt. My ANKLE doesn't hurt, and I haven't been able to say that in over a decade.
Tomorrow morning, Kerrey and I are doing a Yoga class to work out some of these kinks and then Monday I get to meet with my trainer...YAY!!!
Why didn't I do this on my own years ago??? My husband is being so wonderful-he made me a nice , low fat dinner and has stepped up so much in the last few days. He tells me everyday how proud of me he is and how much he loves me. I think maybe he is glad to have me back :)
My floors need sweeping, but it doesn't make me angry-they aren't going anywhere!!
So, now it is time to cuddle up with my hubby and kids on the couch and watch a movie. I think I've earned it.
" To have what you have never had, you have to do what you have never done"
xoxoxo
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Welcome!
Well, today for me is day 3 of my journey. Earlier this week, I was chosen to participate in a local radio stations "Biggest Loser Challenge". This could not have come at a better time for me, as I was already taking the steps to make a change in my life-for the better.
I have been a stay-at-home Mom for almost 12 years to my wonderful children, and don't get me wrong, I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. But somehow along the way, I lost who Jodi was and forgot to make her a priority in my life. With each child I gained a little bit more weight, and at some point it didn't seem to matter any more. So, basically I was saying I didn't matter.
Three years ago I began seeing a specialist for "Non-alcoholic fatty Liver Syndrome", which means I have fatty deposits on my liver so it is sick. Every 6 months I go and see him and he tells me to lose weight before it turns into sirossis. So, off I would go, armed with the knowledge that "today" would be the day that I made a change.......and dance lessons, soccer, dirty floors and laundry would get in the way. And I would let it, because it was my job to take care of my family! I constantly put myself at the bottom of the list-and I allowed everyone around me to do the same.
So, I continued in the same cycle, allowing myself to not be a priority in my own life. Then not too long ago, my Mom told me I had to take care of me-because if I didn't, I wouldn't be there to take care of 'them'. " It's time to put yourself first".
Now, I don't know what cosmic shift was occurring at that moment, but I got it. I "heard" her. I am the most important person in my life. I am worth it. Me-yes me!!! Years and years of anti-depressants and now that I am off of them, I have finally found ME!!!!
I can't tell you exactly when I had this conversation with my Mom, but within days she called me to tell me about the "Biggest Loser" on EZ Rock so I signed up, hit Facebook and my email and told everyone I knew to vote for me. And lo and behold, I got in!! I have a partner Kerrey, and we are both in the same place in our lives, and equally driven. Everything seems to be falling into place. I have even been seeing a dietitian for 6 weeks and successfully lost 6lbs in a month without the exercise, so I know I am on a roll.
Do I wish I had come to this realization 3 years ago that I have to be a priority in my own life? Maybe, but I truly believe that maybe this is the road I had to take. I could have lost weight 5 times over, but I would still have been the unhappy, lost woman inside-just not hiding behind "fat" pants.
I am so happy right now, and that is not something I have felt in my soul for so long. And I am discovering I missed me. The woman my husband fell in love with and married-she still exists and she is worth fighting for.
Now, I have had moments where I stop and worry about my family. Will they survive? Of course they will! In fact I am sure we will be a stronger family, because how can any of them have any respect for me when I have not had any for myself? They will grow right along side me, because as I continue on this journey I will always walk beside them and support them, but I will no longer hide behind them. I will no longer do everything for them, they will start to do for themselves.
I am still a stay-at-home Mom. I still do dishes twice a day. I still make meals at least twice a day. I still do more laundry than should be allowed by law. But now, I don't face every day with dread :) I make time for me, to take care of Jodi and the things that keep her happy and healthy.
A few weeks ago, I went on a "Girls Weekend" with a group of some of the most amazing ladies I know. I gave myself permission to take that time for me. While shopping I found a beautiful eternity bracelet that I wear now, it just seemed to call to me....." The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
And baby, I am just getting started....
xoxoxo
I have been a stay-at-home Mom for almost 12 years to my wonderful children, and don't get me wrong, I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. But somehow along the way, I lost who Jodi was and forgot to make her a priority in my life. With each child I gained a little bit more weight, and at some point it didn't seem to matter any more. So, basically I was saying I didn't matter.
Three years ago I began seeing a specialist for "Non-alcoholic fatty Liver Syndrome", which means I have fatty deposits on my liver so it is sick. Every 6 months I go and see him and he tells me to lose weight before it turns into sirossis. So, off I would go, armed with the knowledge that "today" would be the day that I made a change.......and dance lessons, soccer, dirty floors and laundry would get in the way. And I would let it, because it was my job to take care of my family! I constantly put myself at the bottom of the list-and I allowed everyone around me to do the same.
So, I continued in the same cycle, allowing myself to not be a priority in my own life. Then not too long ago, my Mom told me I had to take care of me-because if I didn't, I wouldn't be there to take care of 'them'. " It's time to put yourself first".
Now, I don't know what cosmic shift was occurring at that moment, but I got it. I "heard" her. I am the most important person in my life. I am worth it. Me-yes me!!! Years and years of anti-depressants and now that I am off of them, I have finally found ME!!!!
I can't tell you exactly when I had this conversation with my Mom, but within days she called me to tell me about the "Biggest Loser" on EZ Rock so I signed up, hit Facebook and my email and told everyone I knew to vote for me. And lo and behold, I got in!! I have a partner Kerrey, and we are both in the same place in our lives, and equally driven. Everything seems to be falling into place. I have even been seeing a dietitian for 6 weeks and successfully lost 6lbs in a month without the exercise, so I know I am on a roll.
Do I wish I had come to this realization 3 years ago that I have to be a priority in my own life? Maybe, but I truly believe that maybe this is the road I had to take. I could have lost weight 5 times over, but I would still have been the unhappy, lost woman inside-just not hiding behind "fat" pants.
I am so happy right now, and that is not something I have felt in my soul for so long. And I am discovering I missed me. The woman my husband fell in love with and married-she still exists and she is worth fighting for.
Now, I have had moments where I stop and worry about my family. Will they survive? Of course they will! In fact I am sure we will be a stronger family, because how can any of them have any respect for me when I have not had any for myself? They will grow right along side me, because as I continue on this journey I will always walk beside them and support them, but I will no longer hide behind them. I will no longer do everything for them, they will start to do for themselves.
I am still a stay-at-home Mom. I still do dishes twice a day. I still make meals at least twice a day. I still do more laundry than should be allowed by law. But now, I don't face every day with dread :) I make time for me, to take care of Jodi and the things that keep her happy and healthy.
A few weeks ago, I went on a "Girls Weekend" with a group of some of the most amazing ladies I know. I gave myself permission to take that time for me. While shopping I found a beautiful eternity bracelet that I wear now, it just seemed to call to me....." The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
And baby, I am just getting started....
xoxoxo
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